Monday, November 26, 2012

The Within and Without of Water

Water flows within and without my being.
I breath in, derailing the en-lightened water on its ascent to the skies
Taking it inside of me, I transmute it.
Cells mix and match within
I breath out the now transformed water
So that it may carry on its pursuit to the heavens above.

A Cloud sweeps it up and they now journey into and out of being across the skies

Water remembers its immortality as it swirls and flows above,
Uniting with Particles from centuries past
Playing with the quarks and molecules,
They dance upon the highest of the high
To the outer reaches of the barriers of blue.

Until once again choosing to partake in the cyclical decent back.

Free-Falling, as a spiraling fractal,
It returns to its primordial form
Transcending the barriers of its anti-mattered existence
It returns to a state of matter

Twirling and flipping it takes on various partners for support in the dance of decent

Crash
Spread and,
Rest

It lays in pieces shocked by the impact

As it returns to its awareness
For a faint moment, All the joys and experiences return to the surface of remembrance

and then

As quickly as it remembered its wholeness in the history of history, it begins to fall away in the act of letting go, and forgetting

As the water is re-absorbed back to into the Earth
Fragmented and divided
The journey of remembering, uniting and ascending begin again,

With a deep inhale and hold
I dive into the river once again and drink from it the clarity I will need to continue

On my journey within its never ceasing flow.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Cambodia and 2 days with the Israeli.

On Sept 22 me and Steph were on our way to Cambodia by bus. While at the border crossing we started chatting with a fellow who was on our bus to get info about where we were supposed to go. We payed 25 U.S Dollars (20 of which went to our visa on arrival and 5 of which went as a bribe to the men we assume work for the bus company.. ) He was an Israeli man about 23 years old. I'll leave his name out...

He seemed like an okay fellow. But the odd time what came out of his mouth was quite unsettling, and often had this look of disgust or disapproval on his face. He came and sat near us close to the end of the bus trip and we chatted about our travels. He had been to Laos and was telling us about his experiences there. He went "River Tubing" a lot in Vang Vieng. Where a few people die every year from the Tubing. Apparently you just hop on a tube and drink all day long. You can just get booze while in the tube from river front bars or something. And if you take the wrong turn at the Y river split then you'll head down a treacherous path with a lot of jagged rocks. He told us of a girl who was passed out drunk in her tube who almost died. While sitting on the bus chatting about how great this tubing thing sounds... He starts laughing at something out the window. I ask what was funny and he said, "I just saw 2 men on a motorbike looking so gay", me and Steph were pretty stone faced at this comment. In that moment we were glad Erin wasn't there to hear it.. But how was he to know that me and Steph weren't a couple traveling. Like really. We were freezing on this bus the whole time, I put my head on her shoulder, we were just exhausted. We both secretly hoped he thought we were gay when I did that haha. By this point I'm just finished with this guy. And then Steph asks him if he wants to share a taxi or tuk tuk to find a hostel or internet cafe. In my head I'm Screaming Shut up!!) She later promised me she wouldn't b nice anymore lol.

So we get our bags, I make the Tuk Tuk drivers do Rock Paper Scissors to be our Driver. It works so awesome!! And no one feels bad cuz the other driver gets more business. They get to drive us fare and square!! Our drivers name was RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKY BobbY!! I wish I could do the voice on this stupid blog for you haha. Ask me in person!! Anyway he was a nice young guy. We had a hostel name in mind for Pnom Phen that was suggested to me by a guy named David who I talked to on the phone through a mutual friend. He was in Canada but lived in Cambodia helping with water Purification here. So in my notebook it said "Me Mates Place" and "Street 88" so I thought it was on street 88, But it was another hostel. Ricky Bobby took us to a hostel named Street 88 and we were like Noo!! This isn't right, We want to go to Me Mates Place!! haha so he took us to Me Mates Place on some other street. And We arranged to have him meet us and be our driver in the morning for a day trip. But then we go inside and they were full!! Unlucky! But they got us a tuk tuk and took us to their other hostel.. the first one we went to.. "Street 88" haha we felt so shitty for telling ricky he was wrong!! Well me and Steph did. Our Israeli friend didn't have feelings of remorse in his programing. So we get in and we are greeted by such a kind hearted soul named  "Johnny". Real cool guy, Who we never got to say goodbye to :(, I liked calling him Rockin Johnny..


Anyway we go upstairs to look at a dorm with our packs n stuff, and as we are walking down the stairs The Israeli guy looks up at us and asks, "Aren't you worried about your pregnancy?" Our jaws dropped to the floor, LITERALLY. I look at Steph and say "I'm not pregnant, are you pregnant??" She's like "I'm not pregnant..", and it had to do with something about if a woman lifts heavy objects it may impede her ability to conceive children or produce good offspring.. Luckily Steph has training in Sports Medicine and set him straight with facts, saying it's just an old wise tale.

We end up getting a private room with 4 beds to share.. God I didn't want to share a room with him.. Oh well tho.. RAR. So we head down to the lobby to get some dinner. He made a stop at the desk to look at the bus schedule board. He had asked Johnny earlier if their was an overnight bus to some town I can't remember now and Johnny had said no. Looking at the board he saw that there was in fact one, and instead of being polite or just matter of factually saying "Oh hey look there is a midnight bus! Awesome I'll get a ticket!" He pointed it out to Johnny and made certain to make him feel like an incompetent fool and is a shit human being basically, Gawd it was sad to watch...We felt really bad for Johnny watching this, and I did make some comments to lighten the mood, didn't really seem to phase our Israeli friend but Johnny brightened up again, You could just see his slinking and crushing of his whole demeanor. We went to get dinner at the bar/lounge attached to the hotel. Our friend was raving on and on about his $12 dollar a day budget he had to keep. He had some extra money that day in the budget I guess and had dinner of a hamburger and fries, and then got another dinner of hamburger and fries then preceded to tell us how he lost all this weight and how good he looked(he wasn't that fit from what we saw) but used to weigh a lot more I guess. Over dinner we unraveled that he was a reservist in the military in Israel. There were certain countries he wasn't allowed to visit with his Israeli passport, and he had a France passport he usually used but that was too close to expiry to use to travel. He also really didn't like telling people he was Israeli. We ended up on the topic of Singapore, Probably telling him about how we almost got stuck there when we we were trying to get to VietNam. He made a comment about how he can't go there with an Israeli Passport. I ask why, naturally. He said Singapore is on the side of their Enemy... Palestine. Stephanie asked the question that I was itching to ask.. "What's the story with Palestine and Israel" (something like that) he didn't want to really get into it, obviously. I slinked off to draw and he went upstairs and skyped for like 4 hours with his family and girlfriend traveling in South America.

The next day we got up and had breakfast, This girl Dani joined our posse for the day and we all shared a tuk tuk. The hotel told the other hotel where we were staying so they could tell our driver. It wasn't Ricky Bobby.. We noticed that The young guys reeel the tourists in at night for the older guys who just want to work to do the day trips. We got used to it. But Ricky Bobby was so awesome haha.
Our Penny pinching Israeli friend haggled this guy scraping to get the cheapest deal. It didn't feel right.. IT felt shady. Like its not that big of a deal if we pay a lil extra so that people here can have a better life for their families and also to keep up in this global market and maybe even travel themselves one day. Which you certainly can't do on the kind of salary that people here get. Our friend Johnny told us he wanted to go to Law School in Canada. We have no way of knowing if this is the truth or if its a tourist pity line. But It inspired deep thoughts about how we bargain and the real cost of it while traveling to other countries.

And so we were off for the day. First stop, "The Killing Feilds". Learning about Khmer Rouge and what happened in Cambodia right after we learned about what America did in VietNam just a few years before the Khmer rose to power, placed us in the path of history. Seeing how all the travesties and wars happened one after the other in this part of the world, really makes you think. It's almost as though WWII opened a gateway for *Messed up Shit* to pour into the world from the same dark dimension if I can put it that way. It doesn't matter what Country your in or who you are. You still kill and you still hate the same way when you place people in the category as scum on your boot that has to be wiped off. The kinds of things that happened at this field were beyond shocking. Especially the special tree covered in bracelets gifts that was once used by the Khmer Rouge to smash babies against. Needless to say I was having a little trouble thinking that any sort of food would be an option today.

Me and the Israeli man ended up getting stranded in a small covered spot when a downpour hit suddenly. Here's my chance I thought.. So he asked me what I thought about the today, and I said something along the lines of, "Its amazing, That another group of people could treat people in such a way", and "I don't understand why these kinds of things happen", Looking back now here's hoping I said something like that. I asked him the same question and he replied, "My thoughts are best kept to myself." I kept thinking about what I would think if I were in his shoes. Traveling so much and learning about the history of other countries and yet, doing what I'm doing at the same time in my own country in a way. He said he had worked the border crossing as well. I asked him for a rundown of what is happening with Palestine and Israel. He told me that back in the day, Israel would be attacked daily and for their safety they had to put a wall up around these people. Because they are trying to kill Israeli's. So they had to! And that Palestine is an imaginary country and it's not real. They tried to make peace deals with the people and give them some land but they wanted all the land. The great Israeli army (according to him) conquered and occupied Egypt, Jordan, and some other places. But Being the peace making treaty signing, forward thinking nation that they are, returned the land they won in battle. Except of course Palestine, which never existed. He also said that Palestinians hate Jews...

I wish I knew more about the Palestinian conflict when I met this guy. I knew some but even I had forgotten the details. I was told once that Winston Churchill gave it to someone, without actually knowing anything about Palestine. I found this snippet on Wiki but it is hard to decipher the fancily worded trade talks.

"The Palestine position is this. If we deal with our commitments, there is first the general pledge to Hussein in October 1915, under which Palestine was included in the areas as to which Great Britain pledged itself that they should be Arab and independent in the future . . . Great Britain and France—Italy subsequently agreeing—committed themselves to an international administration of Palestine in consultation with Russia, [and the Sharif of Mecca] who was an ally at that time . . . A new feature was brought into the case in November 1917, when Mr Balfour, with the authority of the War Cabinet, issued his famous declaration to the Zionists that Palestine 'should be the national home of the Jewish people, but that nothing should be done—and this, of course, was a most important proviso—to prejudice the civil and religious rights of the existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine. Those, as far as I know, are the only actual engagements into which we entered with regard to Palestine."[5]
The part where it says "Palestine 'should be the national home of the Jewish People.." was rather intriguing to read tho... Since Palestinians hate Jews so much according to our Jewish Israeli friend..

So me being who I be, said something like.. "Why do you fight over land when no one really owns any land. We just created pieces of paper and wrote land ownership and them and invented a legal system to validate said papers, but the land was here long before humans, and it'll be here long after." And also that our Country too was going through these same land arguments with out aboriginal and Indigenous peoples. He said in response, "Ooooh your one of those people we call Crazy" hahah I almost lost it, I couldn't believe he said that... My reply, "Well call me crazy but I think if we got over this grip for power and phony ownership the world would be a much different place..

I prolly made him uncomfortable (as I usually do when people hear me say things that challenge the logic behind the entire reality that they have created for themselves..) and he scooted off in the rain to "Find Steph and Dani".

I'm grateful to have been brought into this young mans path.. I can only hope that somewhere past his thick skull that a part of him that still listens with his heart heard my words.. Especially now that they are attacking Palestine. A cowardly act seeing as they are walled in.. It's like going into a play ground at a school and opening fire. Or a classroom. What I don't understand is, how can he think that Palestine isn't real, or never was a real country. This conflict seems FAR FAR too complicated to have just been dreamed up don't you think? Like why create a fake country, fake name all that to allow yourselves to be caged by that dreamed up status and live caged lives. Was the the Israeli army that bored? They just need something to torture to keep them entertained? He made a comment about the government in Palestine being illegitimate and full of terrorist as well! I mean the whole conversation was like a dream. He laughed and voiced his disgust on our way to a school holding facility site because he saw 2 men hugging saying, "they are touching so gay," we all didn't say anything.

We bit our tongue a lot with this fellow and were happy to ditch him for dinner saying we were gunna go to an ATM and then find an internet cafe. We ended up eating Korean food which Steph and Dani were ecstatic about, having just been teaching in Seoul for a year and 2 years for Dani I think.

I'm not pro Israel, and I'm not Pro Palestine. I'm pro freedom and pro psychological therapy. Both things that are seriously lacking in this world. We can convince ourselves (and we do everyday) That our way is right when its not and make up WHOLE illusion based reality as a result just so we don't have to know the truth which we fear will collapse our world. I don't know how we got so wrapped up in the lies. But it's getting worse at every turn..

I can only encourage all to live true. Live true to you, which you can only do if you know and understand the world from yourself and thru your own eyes. Never be afraid of the truth. Sometimes (most of the time) It's hard to want to know the truth. Either because it's hard to find or uncover, or its hard to want to choose that and leave the illusion behind. Because the unknown world like that of anti-matter is mysterious and our perceptions deem it as a void. But just because we have to attach images to this unknown side of life does not mean their is anything to fear. Like a child who first enters the world. We can only do and then see, and thus know.

I think nothing done in the pursuit of truth will be in vain. You may never see a single result in your lifetime (very doubtful) but you create waves in the ocean of time that propel water particles onto the shores of the infinitesimal amounts of sand grains, each holding the key to a world you never imagined until you left behind the structure and safety of the known and open the door to the unknown

XoX
Sarah